I can only laugh when I am
out and about with my independent self and encounter some of the ridiculous
rituals followed by the sighted community that are utterly useless to someone
like me. My so called ‘disability’ is highlighted when I mix in sighted circles,
trying to fit in like a blind square. This list is by no means complete; it is
just the things that have sprung to mind.
**
When in a group meeting or
seminar, I am accosted by a thoughtful person pinning a NAME TAG to my lapel to
be just like everyone else in the room. I think they like to call this
equality. Ok, so you have my name plastered onto my jacket – that’s helpful in
case I forget who I am…any Braille labels so I can see and greet too?
A particular amusement is
when I take a seat in a cafe and am asked, “So what would you like?” It is
often accompanied with a big sigh as the person has just opened the menu and is
overwhelmed with the thought of reading out the entire list. To be quite frank,
how the heck do I know what is on offer? To make their life easier, I sometimes
reply “Raisen toast will do” – again!
Being mistress of our home
while everything is being incorporated into a digital world makes one become
even more canny and resourceful in order to keep up with all the new
technology: Tv, radio, microwave, washing machine…call me old fashioned, but give
me big buttons and chunky knobs one can turn clockwise any day. You try operating
gadgets with random pokes of tiny hard-to-find buttons while you wear a
blindfold and see how masterful you feel?
And the fad for touch screens,
now this sounds hopeful? Forget it! iphones, ipods & ipads - is that an ‘i’ for an ‘eye’? - don’t get me started!
I love the expression “Oh,
just go on line and you’ll find everything there.” Excuse me, what am I? A
tightrope walker or something? Well, participating in sighted rituals can be a
bit like walking the fine line between sanity and complete madness.
Facebook. Now this is an
interesting social phenomenon. Obviously created for an exclusive bunch – those
with eyesight! So, I am thinking of creating a new site (pardon the pun) where
you can join me as a friend on my blindfold page and leave a message with my Guide
Dog.
Everything was going so well,
until I realised the train driver on this particular journey had kindly decided
to give the audio-gal another rostered day off. How hard can it be to remember
to push the button for the station announcement and drive at the same time –
whoops, multi-tasking, that’s right, some folk have not mastered this skill. Glad
I brought my little round rosary beads today to count the stations …
Not only do sighted people
pretend they cannot see each other on a crowded tram, they hide the buzzers. Each
tram has a different interior design so I never know where to find the buzzer
in order to get off at the right stop. I can ask the driver but it’s the
multi-tasking thing again. Zip…um, wasn’t that my stop? Thanks buddy, just let
me off at the next one.
Public toilets – would be a
relief, if I could find them! But the odds are good = two chances in three -
ladies, gents or disabled: eeny, meeny, miney, mo! If I take long enough to decide, a kind stranger
will often come to the rescue to show me the way to the right door – thank you
(but they never hang around long enough to help me find the way out!).
In the deli or the Bank, the
cry is the same, “Take a ticket, please.” Would love to – if I knew where they were,
dear. And you think just holding a ticket gives me confidence to behave like a
‘normal’ person? Fretting fingers fumble – the number mysteriously appears and
is placed into my waiting hand. That’s kind – before you go, um, just a minor
detail: what number am I holding anyway?
Maestro, please play the
final trumpet fan-fair – dum-de-dar…the numero uno most ridiculous sighted
ritual (for the blind), trumpets now reaching a deafening crescendo…DUM-DER-DUM-DER-DA-DER-DUMB
– is finding oneself having to navigate through a myriad of steel poles,
chains, barriers and merchandise boxes
supposedly helpful in herding me to the front of a QUEUE! The most
embarrassing place to stray off the guided path is in the open area of the
Bank, because you know some smug security guard is watching your comedy capers
on their overhead cameras – yep, just wave and smile, I’ll find your silly
queue one of these days!
© Maribel Steel 2012
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